THE LOVE CYCLE (getting the milk for free)

How beautiful is your love life? Love they say is the conglomeration of likeness, thinking obsessively about something, you appreciate someone, you like someone, the feelings grow by the day and you like the person even more, you enjoy the mood and you want to say something, or probably you want to say a lot of things, just to declare to the world how much you love this thing but you try to dance to the cliché "slow and steady wins the race".



 You question yourself every time you move closer 'am i taking the right step?' but still you are defiant, you move on intensely, you just want to unravel the mystery surrounding the state of your mind, you look elsewhere for advice, precisely from a friend who has never known TRUE LOVE or probably who has had her fair share of love and complications and even though you know she might not be the right person, you just want a listening hear and you proceed, you release your emotions to your so called friend and you are glad you've said it all and now anticipate an out of world advice and yes she does advice you 'GO FOR IT' she says, just like you've wanted, like you've thought of all day long, you jump at it, what a life changing decision you make, so happy that you are in the love zone, you do everything to please HIM, all those things you never thought you would do, all those things you do for the sake of love, for the sake of keeping something you own, something dear to you, something you want to spend your life time loving, appreciating.

You skip your holy Sundays just for him, cos you know he's bad like that and he's passing through the re-packaging process, you are the God sent, yes that's how he sees you, you are an epitome of a potential wife, that's good from both angles. You give something up so soon, your pride, not necessarily an untapped FLOWER but you let him into your SECRET GOLD MINE at a relatively young period into the relationship, but you do this to please him, to make him stay by all means, to satisfy him with all you've got, but he feels WOW! What’s the essence of buying the Cow when you can get the milk for cheap?. The so called 'God sent' has let down her guard, you've given your a big blow. Of course he appreciates it and whenever you GO DOWN, he tells you how much you mean to him and truly he does. Somehow everything is looking far too good and he's enjoying the mood, the feelings, he wants to share this with someone, not his parents obviously, so just like you did before you give him the NOD, he goes to his friend, a CASSANOVA, a LIBERTINE who has no clue of women’s emotional fragility and so he does the usual, "O BOY YOU BE MUGU, THERE ARE MANY GIRLS OUTSIDE,COMMON HAVE FUN" he says, sure your Man wouldn't take that serious and waves it off, but suddenly you don't know how to fix anything again, he starts seeing fault in all you do, sure he's not hating you but he's not loving you either.

You are still keeping quiet, you can’t see things getting out of hand just yet, but the glimpses you are seeing you are trying to help with prayers and as you know prayers are not instantaneous, you have to be patient, God is definitely testing your patience and faith, but your faith is fading just like it does to everyone when prayers take eternity to be answered. Pity, your guy is making matters worse, he loves you still but he doesn't say it often anymore and you probably think it's cause he's been busy or stressed or maybe he's not just in good spirit, unknown to you, things are fading at a speedy pace. Now, he doesn't want you to go but he's not giving 100% anymore, he's spending more time away from you and you start to get worried, you start to complain and he says you NAG, suddenly that comes up and you start to wonder what's gone wrong with you, you probably think you are the one getting IRASCIBLE and he knows you aren't but he wouldn’t just tell you. He shouts at you and you shout back, 'What's wrong with me?' you ask internally, within yourself, you blame yourself for shouting back at him, WHY? Because you are taking all the blame for his actions, you think his IMPERFECTIONS are yours, YOU ARE A WOMAN (The Caregiver).

Now, everything has gone out of hand and the center can no longer HOLD, so you go back to a friend, who probably knows little about keeping a relationship or being strong in the face of hardship and she's glad you turn to her and wants to give the best advice to help you out of your situation 'LEAVE THE FUCKING BASTARD, THERE ARE A LOT OF MEN OUT THERE' she says, then you start to wonder if you've wasted all your time sticking to this BEAT and you want to change your dancing step, you want to MOVE ON. So on this faithful night, you call him up and tell him you are no more INTERESTED and even though he's been unfair, he doesn't want you to go.(MEN SOMETIMES ARE LIKE THIS) so he begs you but you've made up your mind and you won’t change it. So you take your leave and after few calls which you don’t heed to, he gives up and looks elsewhere and there you are trying to MOVE-ON , but moving on is more than leaving an uncomfortable zone in search of a COMFORTABLE ONE so it takes you a while to see this PRINCE CHARMING who is apparently pledging his SINCERITY and you think 'GOD THIS DUDE IS DA BOMB!' and decide to give him a chance, being optimistic, being positive and starting all over again, with memories, guilt, doubts and fear...Starting all over again, THE LOVE CYCLE.

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